My Dr. Mario Online Rx Intervention Part 3
Here it is nigga's. The final chapter in the story that has swept the nation... My Dr. Mario Online Rx Intervention Part 3.
Before the break, I had thrown myself through a window in my living room, only to narrowly escape the onslaught of virii that had infested my family. Landing in the yard, I took off running, as fast as I could, the virii behind me giving chase. I thought to myself that it was impossible to escape such things, but quickly forced such criminal pessimism out. I knew where I had to go, and it was to the Rite-Aid down the road. Millions upon millions of virii came from the forests, over hills and through swamps and rivers after me. They knew what I was after, and they knew that the end of their secret reign was on the verge of reality.
Millions of virii were on the loose.
As I reached for the door of Rite-Aid, I glanced behind me to get an idea of how much time I had. What hadn't crossed my mind was that maybe I didn't have any time at all. This turned out to be the case and I was immediately covered in lethal ammounts of AIDS, the flu and Gangrene. I fought for my life, throwing the enemy off of me and pulled the door open in the heat of battle. Charging into the store, I expected the employee's to help, but they only issued weird looks in my direction as I tumbled over shelving units and broke makeup containers. Why weren't they helping me? Why were they so pre-concieved with continuing to check out customers who wanted Fast Breaks. Isn't a screaming guy covered in multi-colored disease more important? Then it dawned on me. Rite-Aid had been taken over and these virii were smarter than I thought. Gasping for air, I fought to the pharmacy counter, where one of their human slaves was standing at the counter. I warned him to move or I'd be coming in forcefully but he just continued to smile. Shoving him out of the way while climbing over the counter I jolted back to their lab.
Are these assholes manufacturing antibodies or steroids?
What I saw was utterly confusing but not at all about to change the course of what I was about to do. Given that the multi-colored substances matched perfectly the colors of The Sickness, they had to have either been developing steroids, or antibodies for this plague. Maybe these humans had not been taken control of, maybe they were only scared to help me due to the fact that I was covered in a shroud of death. I had no choice, I had to take my chances with the syrup on the counter. Making quick work of the chemists with a Wiffle Bat, I grabbed the substances and poured them on me all at once. Suddenly, I felt better. It had worked! My life was saved! But now to save my family, where can I find more of these jars of life juice? It was not jars that I had found though, I had found what I was searching for in the first place... pills. Quickly filling multiple bags with pills I bolted out of the store carrying plenty to take care of the 'fams'. Though I stopped to read a flyer outside...
Why hadn't I thought of this before!?
Dr. Mario. The doctor in charge of eradicating the virii himself, was behind everything all along. It all came together at once. Why he extended his charge to the internet, why he called on others to help him, and why he had invited Little Linda to his office in the middle of the night. The virii were working for him. Snapping out of it, I remembered that my first priority was to take care of my family. They needed to be cured. I ran home, as quickly as I could, almost as fast as Sonic the Hedgehog, but not quite. But at one point, I stopped, and looked around. There seemed to almost be a forcefield of safety around me. Anywhere within a five foot radius, the virii stopped and could no longer swarm. They knew everything. They knew I had the cure, they knew that I had discovered their plot, and they knew that their time had come. I continued home to find my family laying on the ground outside. Guessing they must have tried to give chase, they were overcome by the virii and had gone into a coma. I opened each ones mouth and started to pour pills in, filling all their stomachs with rainbow medicine. The light of hope in my body had almost gone out after 15 minutes with no reaction when I saw Half-Cousin, Twice-Removed Jr's hand twitch, then his eyes, then everyone else followed. Success! I had cured them! I had saved the motherfucking day yet again! They looked up at me and I told them I was to go on a dangerous adventure. Saving them and myself had only been the beginning, now, I had to save the world.
Watch out Dr. Mario, I'm coming for you.
So concludes the story of My Dr. Mario Online Rx Intervention, or does it? The Intervention was only the first part. I will soon be saving the world, in a series of chapters known as: Malpractice - The Rise and Fall of Dr. Mario.